Wednesday, October 3, 2012

My angels full story

In January of 2010, I found out I was pregnant. It was very early when I started spotting. I was still trying to get into the OB's office, it was so early. I found out a few days later, based on blood work, I was miscarrying (such a horrible word...no one chooses to not carry a baby "correctly). On Feb 13th, I started to bleed. My drs office followed my HCG numbers down to under 5, and told me when they got there, I should get my period. I never did. About 2 weeks after that phone call, I realized I still hadn't gotten it, so I took a pregnancy test. It was positive. About a week later, I started spotting again. My OB's office sent me to the ER, where they did an ultrasound, but it was too early to see anything. There was nothing but an "empty" sac. After that, they immediately sent me to get blood work, where they told me at that point, it looked good. I had 2 more draws, where my numbers were going up. On a Wed (after the second draw) my numbers were over 18,000. The drs office set me up for a dating ultrasound (since I had no clue how far along I was). It was set for Friday. All night Thursday, I told my husband that we would go to the ultrasound, and I would either see no heartbeat, or I would see 2. (When we first got married, I always told my husband that my 4th pregnancy would be twins. That was with the expectation that my 3rd pregnancy was a success, not a loss). Get to the dr, and lo and behold, there are 2 absolutely beautiful beating hearts. My one egg had spontaneously split, giving me identical twins. My due date was set for December 2, 2010. I would never make it CLOSE to there.


Everything was textbook, They were MO-DI twins (Same outer sac, different inner sac, so they shared a placenta). I went in for ultrasounds at 6 weeks, 8 weeks, 12 weeks, and then again at 20 weeks. We found out we were expecting girls (YAY!) and that they were still perfect! There was only about an ounce or 2 difference in their weights. Fast forward to the end of 25 weeks, and I started feeling a lot of pain and pressure in the bottom of my belly. The drs measured, did a stress test, and then ordered an ultrasound, because I was measuring about 3 cm larger than I had been the week before. The dr wanted to make sure it was baby growth, and not extra fluid. Everything was beautiful! I had 2 perfect wiggly baby girls in my belly. That was the Tuesday before my life fell apart.



That Friday, I noticed the girls weren't moving as much as normal. I got some movement, so I thought they were just running out of room. I was only 26 weeks, 1 day, but I was already measuring 38 cm (full term). Saturday morning, there was no movement. I checked their heartbeats with my doppler, and they seemed high to me, and they didn't change like they normally did. I called the on-call OB, who sent me into L&D for monitoring. Babies still had very stable heartbeats. There was no change. They did an ultrasound, but it wasn't the best quality, The dr decided to send me to the larger hospital, with a better NICU, since I was so early still. She told me as I was leaving the floor, that they would AT MOST keep me on hospital bed rest for a bit. At least until I could get the second steroid shot. Once at the bigger hospital, a Perinatologist came in and did an ultrasound, and told me that Baby B had some fluid around her kidney, and looked like she had a true knot in her cord. She said we needed to deliver immediately, or both babies would die. I was sent back for an emergency c-section.


Baby A came out crying (she sounded like a mouse!) on August 28th, 2010, weighing 1 lb 7 oz. We named her Cynthia Paige, Thia for short. Baby B came out with no noise. She weighed 2 lbs 3.5 oz. We named her Gabriella Catherine, Ella for short. Not long after Ella was born, they took her from the room. About 5 minutes later, they came and got my husband. They stitched me up, and sent me to recovery. I was alone for a bit, since I had told my husband to follow the babies to the NICU. My friend (who had taken me to the hospital early that afternoon) came to be with me in recovery. The NICU dr came in, gave me the run down (quickly) on Thia, and then said "I'm so sorry. We did everything we could. Baby B's heart rate just wouldn't come up above 65 bpms after we cut the cord. She did have a true knot, about 2 inches from the placenta. Your husband told us that we didn't have to keep working on her, we couldn't get her resuscitated. We tried for 34 minutes." I started sobbing. So hard I was shaking. My heart rate was through the roof. They brought my beautiful Ella in to me. She was so tiny and perfect.


We had Thia baptized that night. It was 1:30 in the morning the first time I saw Thia. She was so tiny and so perfect. She spent the first 10 days of her life going on and off a high frequency ventilator. At about 10 days, they started weaning her off the ventilator, onto a cannula. When she got there, she was on a high flow one. She was a little fighter. She went down to a regular cannula. She pulled her PICC line out of her arm at 15 days old. She was always pulling her feeding tube or cannula out and holding onto it. I held her for the first time at 15 days. She loved it, the nurses joked that I should just always hold her, because her temp was great, and her heart rate was excellent. I gave her a bath when she was 19 days old. It was an awesome experience.






At 3:15 am, Friday morning, when she was 20 days old, I got that dreaded phone call. A nurse was calling to tell me she wasn't doing well. The dr was with her, and I should get there as soon as I could. I got to the hospital at about 4 am. They were doing compression's on her. The dr told me that they didn't know what had happened, but her heart rate plummeted. They tried everything they could, but nothing was working. My second baby was dying. A nurse asked if I wanted to hold her. I held my baby as she took her last breath. I was crying, and begging her to come back. To hang on. She died at 4:15 am Friday, September 17, 2010. I felt her life leave her body. I knew the moment she was gone, without alarms or a nurse to tell me.


Monday, September 20, we said goodbye to our babies. Their funeral was beautiful. My younger sister (Ella's Godmother) sang Amazing Grace a Capella. Our wonderful priest (who came to the hospital at 1 am the day of their birth, and again at 5:30 am the day Thia passed) picked wonderful readings. The Sunday after, he dedicated the Mass to them.

1 comment:

ra husky said...

We found wooos bloggie today while wandering, don't know if you come here anymore but we wanted to stop and offer condolences and soft husky woooos,

RA, Isis & NanĂ¼k